As much as I thought that I had chased it away...it comes back to haunt me.
It was hard at first...believe me. It made me feel evil. Not doing what I used to. So, I asked for advice, and all sources told me to do the same thing. And I did. It seemed to work. Over time, I became desensitized. It was bordering apathy. But the best part! Natural. Everything felt fine, perfect, normal. What I had always wanted and yet not. My theory was correct. Had I not...none of this would ever have happened. Had I not...I would have been temporarily been spared the pain and the joy. Had I not...ignorance would have been my bliss. It saddens me and yet I am glad. For it taught me much about the nature of life, of existence, and of the supernatural.
But, I decided to give it all up. Because it was too much of a burden, a distraction, something that would hinder me. And now, when I need focus the most, when resolve must kick in, it returns to haunt me. I thank those who gave me advice. They were right. That was the best course of action. Then. But now...I must make a choice.
I have been told that I can be an extremist. And that is true. And now is the moment when my extremism is screaming for a decision so it can carry me away. One side wants an encore...the other enjoys apathy. Neither side is truly right or wrong. Each side has its pros and cons as well.
To think, that all it took was a large consumption of cookies and planning to remind me of this. To break my apathetic state, this was all that was needed. But it may seal my doom.
So, for now...APATHY FTW! It is rather sad...even pathetic. But what else can I do? I know I am too weak, too feeble, too uncultured, too inexperienced, too unwise, too foolish (even this post is a testament to that).
But :P The sharky must swim onwards. The reef is behind. He must remember that. He seeks the open seas, and other sharks and FAT TUNA to munch on. Above all else, he must remember the sea urchins, sea anemones, and coral can be deceiving. If he isn't careful, he'll end up like his reef shark friend Reefy. And Sharky will join his grave.
