The Freedom Gundam...debateably the popular mech ever created. With its angelic blue wings, lightning agility, and deadly firepower, it is a powerful force on the battlefield. But, why Freedom? Why pick such a name for a hunk of metal with a nuclear reactor stuck in its chest? Because freedom is something that everyone wants to a certain extent. They want to know that they are in control.
Two days ago, I had a shot at freedom. My mindset changed...I was no longer limited by my pre-programmed FCS (Firing Control System [this is a metaphor!!!]). No, it was different. Things were natural. I felt no need to shoot down an incoming missile. I just let it fly past me. It made no difference. If I were a shark, I would say that I finally got out of the reef chasing after clownfish and decided to go to the open seas where I belonged. I glided on my fins, my wings to freedom and here I am now.
Surprisingly, I became free because I let go of the controls. I let Veda control my gundam. I let the currents carry my shark through the depths. I had prayed long and hard for this momment...and as always, it was not what I had expected. Yes, there is joy in this momment of freedom, where I let go, but something is amiss. This is what I wanted, but a bitterness haunts me, a foul taste in my mouth that a shark gets after munching on coral. Yes, things seemed fine today. I felt no obligations, no demands, no directives. I let go. But at the same time, I cannot help but think that my letting go cost me something. But what is it? I can be myself now. I don't need to line up the dominoes just so that someone else can come by and knock them down. No. There are no dominoes. And as I sit here...working on AP Lang...all I can think is: "Did I really want those wings so early?" Those wings of freedom that let me be free without giving me responsibility? But what could be better than to put my trust in the Almighty for something as fickle as this? Nothing. So I will take up these wings of freedom and float about, glide, until I am brought back down to earth to finish my task.
So this morning, I will wake up and say to myself.
"Jonas Arche, ZGMF X-10A Freedom...Launching"
Praying that I've done the right thing.
Jarche signing off...
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
I can't type...but writing is worse (and college stuff)
Really...why have a blog? I mean journals are just as effective right? No. I can't write fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. I write at around 40wpm at my maximum speed. Writing in a journal has that classic feel to it, but life doesn't come with time for leisure. You have to make it yourself. Thus, this blog has been brought into existence so that I can readily vent and spew thoughts at a slightly faster 60 wpm. I mean an extra twenty words per minutes is a lot. If everyone typed just a little faster, can you imagine how many more words we could save? Now I sound like a PG&E commercial.
This blog is probably going to be very helpful when it comes time for college essays. Seriously, I heard of people turning their blog posts into college essays and plan to do the same. Meh, college. All my senior pals have already decided where they're going, and I wish that I could have applied for college this year. It's just going to be that much harder to apply next year, which really makes me wonder about the whole college system. Let's see, you take a few people and have them sit behind desks all day reading the essays of students and their credentials. These readers are told that they can only let in a certain number of each ethnicity and instructed to through away weak applicants. Most importantly, these readers must use their own judgment. What other selection process could be more biased and prone to error? Even drafting baseball players is more structured. You pick the players based on their skills and reputation. For colleges we have readers who have never met these students who have to infer everything about the personality of the student based on essays. Personality...what is a likable personality? "Make yourself likable" says the college reader. Well, likable is such a relative term. For example, I like sharks. I think that sharks are some of the awesomest animals in the world. My favorite cuddly things in my house are a few plushy sharks that I bought from the dollar tree. I was actually planning to call this blog the shark tank but realized that the title would draw too many sharklovers to this site. Anyway, most people don't like sharks. But, I find them likable. What's to stop ivy league college admissions officers from doing the same thing? Not much. I've heard stories where people got into programs just because their essays were humorous or "very interesting." Right now, college admissions seems like a game for brownie points. You take your essay, beat it so that it makes you look good to your reader, modify stuff here and there to make it "acceptable" and then shoot it off, praying that it makes its mark. Wow...that was a bad tangent.
This blog is probably going to be very helpful when it comes time for college essays. Seriously, I heard of people turning their blog posts into college essays and plan to do the same. Meh, college. All my senior pals have already decided where they're going, and I wish that I could have applied for college this year. It's just going to be that much harder to apply next year, which really makes me wonder about the whole college system. Let's see, you take a few people and have them sit behind desks all day reading the essays of students and their credentials. These readers are told that they can only let in a certain number of each ethnicity and instructed to through away weak applicants. Most importantly, these readers must use their own judgment. What other selection process could be more biased and prone to error? Even drafting baseball players is more structured. You pick the players based on their skills and reputation. For colleges we have readers who have never met these students who have to infer everything about the personality of the student based on essays. Personality...what is a likable personality? "Make yourself likable" says the college reader. Well, likable is such a relative term. For example, I like sharks. I think that sharks are some of the awesomest animals in the world. My favorite cuddly things in my house are a few plushy sharks that I bought from the dollar tree. I was actually planning to call this blog the shark tank but realized that the title would draw too many sharklovers to this site. Anyway, most people don't like sharks. But, I find them likable. What's to stop ivy league college admissions officers from doing the same thing? Not much. I've heard stories where people got into programs just because their essays were humorous or "very interesting." Right now, college admissions seems like a game for brownie points. You take your essay, beat it so that it makes you look good to your reader, modify stuff here and there to make it "acceptable" and then shoot it off, praying that it makes its mark. Wow...that was a bad tangent.
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