Wings of Freedom

The Freedom Gundam...debateably the popular mech ever created. With its angelic blue wings, lightning agility, and deadly firepower, it is a powerful force on the battlefield. But, why Freedom? Why pick such a name for a hunk of metal with a nuclear reactor stuck in its chest? Because freedom is something that everyone wants to a certain extent. They want to know that they are in control.
Two days ago, I had a shot at freedom. My mindset changed...I was no longer limited by my pre-programmed FCS (Firing Control System [this is a metaphor!!!]). No, it was different. Things were natural. I felt no need to shoot down an incoming missile. I just let it fly past me. It made no difference. If I were a shark, I would say that I finally got out of the reef chasing after clownfish and decided to go to the open seas where I belonged. I glided on my fins, my wings to freedom and here I am now.
Surprisingly, I became free because I let go of the controls. I let Veda control my gundam. I let the currents carry my shark through the depths. I had prayed long and hard for this momment...and as always, it was not what I had expected. Yes, there is joy in this momment of freedom, where I let go, but something is amiss. This is what I wanted, but a bitterness haunts me, a foul taste in my mouth that a shark gets after munching on coral. Yes, things seemed fine today. I felt no obligations, no demands, no directives. I let go. But at the same time, I cannot help but think that my letting go cost me something. But what is it? I can be myself now. I don't need to line up the dominoes just so that someone else can come by and knock them down. No. There are no dominoes. And as I sit here...working on AP Lang...all I can think is: "Did I really want those wings so early?" Those wings of freedom that let me be free without giving me responsibility? But what could be better than to put my trust in the Almighty for something as fickle as this? Nothing. So I will take up these wings of freedom and float about, glide, until I am brought back down to earth to finish my task.
So this morning, I will wake up and say to myself.

"Jonas Arche, ZGMF X-10A Freedom...Launching"

Praying that I've done the right thing.

Jarche signing off...