Singapore...dang I feel stupid...

As I stepped out of the 777 at the Changi Airport, a myriad of things whizzed through my mind: Dang, that 777 is fast...it can achieve 585mph as opposed to 450mph; hmmm...it's not as warm as I expected; ooh...TRAVELATOR!!!; where's Daniel? Oh, he's behind me; Hm...that bloke looks suspicious; Why aren't people speaking in Mandarin?; and of course I'm Back...
Even though I don't live in Singapore, coming back here is like a breath of fresh air (as Lee Hom Wang would say it). Things are so familiar and yet foreign. The Singaporean people are the same as they always have been: work focused, a bit grumpy, having heavy accents, and looking plain Asian. I guess that's why I like Singapore so much. It makes me feel more Asian. Wait...dude...you are Asian X_X ? Well that doesn't mean that I am content with my Asianness. As I tuned through the familiar radio stations (riding in a taxi from the airport), I just sat there and let my ears listen to the sweet stream of Mandarin lyrics. No, I have no idea what they're saying, but I find it exceptionally soothing.
I arrived at the hotel an hour after landing to be greeted by my relatives. Sigh, let's see...my aunt's and uncle's were pretty much the same. My cousins had changed a bit. Fai was a bit calmer, had less wild hair, but he was still taller than me. (apparently I haven't grown much QQ) Ling reminded me of a mini CCS person. As we went to eat dinner, the awkward silence came along. I had anticipated it's arrival so much that I grinned when I tried asking my cousin about life in Mandarin and English. You see, Singaporean students are required to study both Chinese and English. However, my cousin's English isn't that fluent, so he doesn't understand everything I say. (TANGENT WARNING) Actually, one of the main reasons I wish I was born in Singapore is just so that I could be fluent in Chinese and not so fluent in English. Yeah, English is one of the most efficient languages, but I feel as if I should know Chinese because I'm CHINESE. In addition, I greatly enjoy the method of transportation. For some reason, I never looked forward to getting my license, which is why I don't have it yet QQ. I'd much rather walk around, take buses and trains to get to work and to school. That's what most people do here. They scan their little MRT fare cards and hop on then scan again and hop off. I'd rarely take public transit in the U.S. frankly because, I don't find them very clean. Dang, Singaporean hacks. Singapore is obsessed with being clean. The airport is cleaned literally 24-7 and the buses and subway trains never seem to age even though they've been around for ten years.
Another reason, I wish I was born in Singapore is just the schooling system. It seems so much harder here. My cousin is two years younger than I am, but he has so much homework. It's ridiculous. For example, standard test prep for a grade 6 placement exam weighs 4 kilos (about 8 pounds) Now, keep in mind, that is merely the test prep for SIXTH GRADE. That's crazy. Looking at my cousin's work and the school system in general, I feel as if I'd have a better education here.
With so many advantages in Singapore, I sometimes wonder if I should move here. I don't mind the hot and humid weather. Actually, I welcome it. And I often think about who I'd be if I had grown up here. For the longest time, I figured that I'd be a better person if I had been born in Singapore.
No longer...
A few people I know have this thing where they can look at people and get a rough idea of their personality and all these other minor details. Now, it may sound like first impressions, but it isn't. Their predictions are usually accurate. Maybe it's more like a perception of character. In whatever case, when I looked around at the people who were my age in Singapore...all I gathered from their faces was a superficial happiness...a drive to achieve...to make money...to marry and be "happy"...but nothing more. I can't explain it. For some reason, they seemed so shallow. This feeling had been even more prevalent in Hong Kong, but I never expected it to be widespread in Singapore. This observation made me wonder, "So, would I have been like one of them?" Now, for sure, there are some truly happy people in Singapore, but it just seems like a lot of people are consistently disappointed. I admit, I am by no means Mr. Sunshine happy face blah blah, but the look in those people's eyes...cold determination, an unstoppable desire for personal gain, just bothered me.
I guess I can be glad I'm not like them...that I wasn't absorbed into the culture...but I still have sentimental attachment to this small island.

Listening to Mandarin Music by Victor something....
Jonas Arche